Role Playing Links
Favorite Message Boards
On April 19, 2004, we began a wild and usually strange journey together. In the 16 months we've been together, we've seen some changes, we've called do-overs a few times, and laughed and cried together on many, many more occasions. It's time to say goodbye. I wish I had a more eloquent, gentler way to do this, but right now words fail me, although tears do not. That's always the way it seems.
I'd like to thank everyone who has ever played a part here at BSB-RP. I'd like to thank our readers, because we know you're out there, even if you aren't on the 'watched by' list. :)
And last, I'd like to thank Kevin, Nick, Brian, Howie and AJ. Without them and their music, there would have been no reason to be here.
It's been a hell of a ride.
Never Gone never far in my heart is where you are.
Always close everyday every step along the way
Even though from now we've got to say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life "never gone"..
::the morning sun peeks into their room and Darcy curls around Nick's body, the 1,000,000 thread count sheets caressing her naked skin::
'Mornin' baby...::moves and stretches like a sunning cat::...I'm thinkin' we should all just agree to go naked for the rest of the time here. ::her leg flops over his and she kisses his bare chest::
Clothes are entirely too overrated...besides, now I've seen 3 of the 5 of you in your birthday suits anyway.
::Kris reads page 32 of her script for about the tenth time before giving up and setting it aside. It's deadly dull reading, and she's tired, and just... ugh. She sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose and attempting to dispel the headache that's been poking at the back of her eyes for the better opart of the afternoon. When the phone rings, she reaches for it blindly.::
Kevin? Oh baby, I'm so glad you called.
Are you all right?
takes her glass of wine, her phone, and herself out onto her patio, where she sits down...relaxing for the first time all day.
The girl's have been a handful, Jamie's been fretful, and Trace has been mia.
Angi, and Mari are upset because they can't reach Alex. They've left messages for two days now, and he's not responding. It's very odd for him to do
that, he tends to return calls immediately, no matter where he is, or what he's doing, but not this time.
Jamie is teething, and just when she could use the help both his dad, and his step-dad are unavailable. Alex is who know's where, and Trace had to go to the ranch for some sort of ranch emergency.
Lu looks up into the nightsky, glad to be out of the city enough to be able to see stars. Leaning back she rests her head on the cushion, takes a sip of wine, and once again wonders why she's alone. She has an ex-lover, who is her baby's father, a new husband, who is willing to take on her whole family, and yet she's alone.
Ernie ambles out, sits beside her chair, and looks up at her in doggie bewilderment::
I don't know, Ernie...go see the girls, they're locked in their room probably plotting how to take over the world and rid it of parental figures.
::When the dog doesn't take the hint, she lowers her hand to rest on his fuzzy head, and scritches his ears::
So, Ern...how do you feel about a colder climate, huh, buddy? I've been thinking about going back home, at least for awhile, and you'd be able to run around on the beach all you want
::Lulu thinks about what she's said. Ever since she and Trace had gone home to pick up the girls she's been terribly homesick. The main reason she's stayed in Malibu was so Alex could be close to Jamie, but with his recent disappearing act, and a tour imminent, why stay here?
Oh...of course, a new husband, a new life.
Maybe he'll have to do some relocating, there are lots of ranches in Ontario, even if the weather conditions are a little more extreme.
Lu sighs...life is complicated. Life sucks. Life isn't fair.
What should she do? How can she make everyone happy, and still be happy herself?
::email to Kevin::
Good morning, sweetheart.
It's just just barely after sunrise here, and I'm already on the set. We had a very early call today, but that means we get out earlier. I'm looking forward to that. ::laughs::
You've been on my mind ever since you left. Baby, I know how difficult that was for you, believe me, it was just as hard for me. But thank you for trusting me, for doing the right thing even though I know it felt so very wrong. Things have changed so drastically for us that sometimes my head swims and it's all so strange. You're my life Kevin, my soul mate. We've spent so many years taking our love for granted and now that our realities have crashed in around us, it's making it so hard.
When everything looks hopeless, remember how much I love you, how much I'm behind you in what you're doing. Don't think about the distance, think instead that every day is one day closer to us being together again. We'll make the best of the time we have, and then we'll count down the days again, and before we know it the day will come when we no longer have to be apart.
I hope that as I send this you are sleeping, getting some rest. I pray that your time with the guys is productive and that you feel the same spark as always when you sing. I love to hear you sing, and every night I listen to the cd you gave me. It's silly I suppose, but it helps me feel as if you are here.
I love you, Kevin. I love you with all my heart. I'll talk to you soon, baby.
All my love forever,
::it's late evening, and almost everyone else has wandered away, except for Brian and Maddie. Earlier, Howie had built a fire in the stone chimnea, and it's still giving off a warm glow. It's like a moment out of time, and neither wants it to end::
Brian? ::Maddie's head is on his shoulder as she speaks, and her fingers are entwined with his::
Thanks for inviting me to come along, this is so wonderful.
::she sighs and smiles as he leans his head against hers::
::dinner is over, and as the group sits around relaxing and making small talk, Kevin slips away and heads for the beach. Everyone sees him go, but no one says a word. They know he's in a bad place, and seem to think it's best to leave him be. Nick watches him go, and can't shake the feeling of unease, the need to do something, say something. With a sigh he pats Darcy's leg and indicates his intent to follow Kevin. She nods in understanding, and turns her attention to Maddie and Brian so that the two men can talk.
When Nick catches up with him, he's standing by the shore, aimlessly tossing small stones into the waves::
Hey. I didn't get a chance to talk to you earlier.
::he picks up a stone of his own, and joins Kevin, trying to skip it across the water::
Kev-... why did you come? Why didn't you just stay with Krissy? You're miserable.
::Kevin straightens from leaning on the rail as the boat docks at the landing. He's stood the whole way over, too tense to sit; too pissy to relax.
From his vantage point on the water he can't see anyone around. It's late afternoon, they're probably all at the beach, or gathered on the big porch. He mentally shrugs, he doesn't give a flying fuck where they are, or what they're doing; he's only here because he has an obligation, but that doesn't mean he has to like it.
He'd left Kris at the apartment, no way was he going to say goodbye in an airport. They both had tears glistening in their eyes when he turned away from her, and he knew she'd be sobbing as soon as the door was closed.
The flight was miserable, or maybe it was just him. He went straight to the house, called for the boat, before changing and grabbing clean clothes, and drove down to the dock. Luckily the boat was there, waiting for him, or he might have turned right around, and gone straight back to the airport.
Standing on the dock, he pulls out his cell phone, and keys in their New York number. Not wanting to talk to Kris, he can't bear to hear her voice yet, he leaves a voicemail for her that he's safely at the island, and he loves her.
He picks up his duffle bag, stares up at the main house, and frowns::
Okay, Richardson, just do it.
::And with that he starts up the path::
I miss you, but I always do.
You'd be happy for me today, Nonno, I'm on a beautiful island with friends. Yes...you heard me correctly, friends.
I've been alone for too long, old man, why didn't you tell me I was wrong? Why didn't you tell me that cutting myself off from other people would end up hurting?
Libby's been my only friend for too long...don't get me wrong, I adore her, and I'll love her forever, but she shouldn't have to bear the whole weight of my soul.
So I've been letting other people in, Nonno.
I've made friend's with a woman I met online...she's a musician and we share some of the same friends. She's good people, Nonno, really. I think I can trust her.
And the man who invited me to his island...he's good people, too. He's a very good person...he's sensitive, and caring, and handsome, and funny, and generous.
And before you start to plan, he's just my friend, Nonno, really. He's got a broken heart, and he's slow to mend...I won't put expectations on him while he's like this.
Besides, I have no expectations. I'm not having sex for fun anymore, Nonno, and for some reason I can picture you shaking your head in disappointment.
It's not enough...it's empty now. I guess I need more than sex....and you can stop laughing now, old man. I've had enough sex to last a lifetime, but when did I have love?
I can't hear you.
See? You aren't always right...I've never had love, Nonno, and now I'm willing to wait for it before giving myself away. Again.
Okay...so I might slip now and then, but it won't be with just anyone...I'll have to care about whoever it is.
No more sex just for sex's sake.
But you know what? I'm pretty. I'm pretty, and I'm smart, and I have lots to offer, and I'm not going to settle anymore...I'm worth so much...so much more than I've expected in the past.
And with that I'm going to sign off, Nonno...the friend's I've made are all together, and we're going to have dinner soon, and relax in the evening air. Maybe I'll go into the hot tub, maybe I'll go skinny dipping in the ocean, maybe I'll lie on the sand and watch the stars...it's all there for me.
I'm lucky, Nonno...and I love you.